The holidays can be a time of joy and connection, but when you’re grieving the loss of a loved one, they can also bring feelings of sadness, loneliness, and longing. Traditions that once brought comfort may now serve as painful reminders of the person’s absence, and the pressure to feel cheerful can feel overwhelming. If you have depression, the weight of grief during this season can feel even heavier.
It’s important to acknowledge that grief and loss are deeply personal journeys, and there’s no “right” way to experience them. But there are steps you can take to care for yourself during this challenging time, honor your loved one’s memory, and find moments of peace amid the pain.
Understanding Grief During the Holidays
Grief often feels magnified during the holidays because this time of year often focuses on being together with family and celebrating the season. If you’ve lost someone close to you, you may feel their absence even more intensely. The expectations to be merry and participate in traditions can clash with your inner emotions, creating an added layer of stress.
When you have a condition such as depression, it can make feelings of hopelessness or exhaustion more intense, making it even harder to cope with loss. You might feel guilty for not being able to enjoy the holidays or overwhelmed by the thought of social gatherings.
Strategies for Coping With Grief During the Holidays
To handle grief and depression during the holidays, it is essential to care for yourself and show yourself compassion. Here are some practical ways to cope:
- Acknowledge your feelings. Allow yourself to feel whatever comes up—sadness, anger, guilt, or moments of happiness. Consider journaling to process and validate your emotions.
- Be realistic in your expectations. Let go of the idea that you need to have a “perfect” holiday. Give yourself permission to decline invitations or skip traditions that feel too overwhelming. Focus on small, meaningful moments instead of trying to do everything.
- Honor your loved one’s memory. Create a tradition in their honor, such as lighting a candle or making a favorite recipe. Share stories and memories with friends or family who understand your loss. You may even want to consider donating to a cause that was important to your loved one.
- Make self-care a priority. Be sure you are getting enough sleep, eating nourishing foods, and moving your body in gentle ways. Practice relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing or meditation.
- Stay connected to your support network. Reach out to friends, family, or a support group. Talking about your grief can help you feel less isolated. Let others know how they can support you, whether it’s simply listening or spending quiet time together.
- Seek professional help. If your grief or depression feels unmanageable, don’t hesitate to reach out to a therapist or counselor. They can provide tools to help you navigate your emotions and offer a safe space to express yourself.
Handling Grief When You’re Also Facing Depression
Grief and depression can sometimes intertwine, making it difficult to distinguish between the two. While grief often comes in waves and is tied to the loss of a loved one, depression tends to be more persistent and pervasive, affecting all areas of your life. If you’re struggling with both, it’s essential to prioritize your mental health:
- Recognize the signs of worsening depression. These may include difficulty getting out of bed, loss of interest in things you usually enjoy, or thoughts of suicide.
- Establish a routine. Having a routine brings structure to your days, even if it’s just small steps like making your bed or taking a walk.
- Be patient with yourself. Healing takes time, and it’s okay to lean on others for support.
What to Do If the Holidays Feel Too Overwhelming
Sometimes, even with the best intentions, the holidays may still feel too difficult. If that happens:
- Give yourself permission to step back. It’s okay to sit this one out and focus on what you need most.
- Plan ahead. If you know certain events or dates will be tough, create a plan to manage them—whether that’s spending the day with someone supportive or carving out time to rest.
- Focus on what brings you comfort. Whether listening to music, reading, or spending time in nature, lean into activities that soothe you.
If you or a loved one is struggling with grief and depression, we can help. At Peak Behavioral Health in Santa Teresa, New Mexico, we have inpatient and outpatient treatment options to meet your needs. Please contact us today for a no-cost, confidential assessment.
