Discovering that your teen may be self-harming can be a heartbreaking and confusing experience. As a parent, you want to help, but knowing where to start can feel overwhelming. Self-harm, often misunderstood, is a cry for help rather than an attempt to seek attention. Understanding the signs, causes, and steps you can take is essential to supporting your teen through this challenging time.
Self-harm is when someone intentionally injures themselves as a way to cope with overwhelming emotions, stress, or pain. While it can take many forms, cutting, burning, or scratching the skin are some of the most common methods. For teens, self-harm is often a way to release pent-up emotions or regain a sense of control during times when they feel powerless.
Signs of Self-Harm in Teens
The signs of self-harm are not always obvious. Teens may go to great lengths to hide their behavior out of shame or fear of being judged. Here are some red flags to look for:
- Unexplained injuries: Cuts, burns, or bruises, often on the arms, legs, or torso.
- Frequent bandages or clothing changes: Wearing long sleeves or pants, even in hot weather, to cover injuries.
- Behavioral changes: Increased irritability, withdrawal from friends or family, or a noticeable drop in academic performance.
- Possession of sharp objects: Finding razors, scissors, or other tools that could be used for self-harm.
- Emotional signs: Expressing feelings of hopelessness, guilt, or self-loathing.
Reasons Why Teens Engage in Self-Harm
Self-harm isn’t the problem itself; it’s often a symptom of deeper emotional pain. Teens may turn to self-harm for various reasons:
- To cope with emotional distress: They might feel overwhelmed by feelings of sadness, anger, or anxiety and use self-harm as a release.
- To regain control: For some, self-harm creates a sense of control when life feels chaotic or unmanageable.
- To express emotions they can’t verbalize: If your teen struggles to talk about their feelings, they may resort to self-harm to communicate their pain.
- To numb emotional pain: Physical pain from self-harm can temporarily distract from emotional turmoil.
- As a response to peer influence: In some cases, self-harm may be encouraged or normalized within certain peer groups or social media circles.
What to Do If You Suspect Your Teen Is Self-Harming
Discovering or suspecting self-harm in your teen is distressing, but your response can make a significant difference in their healing process. Here are steps to take:
- Stay calm. While your emotions may be running high, try to approach your teen with compassion and understanding. Reacting with anger or panic may push them further away.
- Start the conversation. Gently express your concerns in a non-judgmental way. For example, you might say, “I’ve noticed some things that worry me, and I want to make sure you’re okay.”
- Listen without judgment. Allow your teen to share their feelings without interrupting or criticizing. Validate their emotions by reassuring them that you are there for them, no matter what.
- Seek professional help. Self-harm is often linked to underlying mental health issues, such as depression or anxiety. A therapist or counselor can help your teen develop healthier coping strategies.
Treatment Options for Teens Who Self-Harm
Professional help is crucial for teens engaging in self-harm. Treatment focuses on addressing the underlying issues while equipping them with healthier ways to cope. Some options may include:
- Therapy: Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) can help teens identify and change negative thought patterns contributing to their self-harm. Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) teaches emotional regulation and distress tolerance, which can reduce the urge to self-harm.
- Support groups: Connecting with others who understand their struggles can provide a sense of community and reduce feelings of isolation.
- Medication: If your teen has an underlying condition like depression or anxiety, medication may be part of their treatment plan.
- Family involvement: Family therapy can help improve communication, reduce conflicts, and create a supportive environment for healing.
How to Support Your Teen
Your support is essential to your teen’s recovery. Here are some ways you can help:
- Educate yourself. Learn about self-harm and its causes to better understand what your teen is going through.
- Create a safe space. Make home a judgment-free zone where your teen feels comfortable expressing their emotions.
- Encourage positive outlets. Help your teen explore healthy ways to cope, such as journaling, painting, or physical activity.
- Be patient. Recovery takes time. Celebrate small victories and be there for setbacks without expressing disappointment.
If you believe your teen is at immediate risk of serious harm or suicide, don’t wait to act. Call 988 Lifeline, reach out to emergency services, or contact Peak Behavioral Health in Santa Teresa, New Mexico. We are here to support teens and families through this challenging time with understanding and care. At Peak Behavioral Health, we offer a range of services, including individual therapy, group programs, and family counseling, designed to help your teen heal and grow.
